Have you let Thieves in The Temple?

They don't care where they kick
Just as long as they hurt u---Lyrics by Prince

So, This time of year, I usually call my grandmothers best friend, Ms. Bozie Walker. Since the death of my grandmother, MS. Walker has been one of the most constant people in my family's life. She knew my grandmother when they were going to USO dances as young women, she's the orator of the american side of my family. At 94, when you ask her how she's doing, she just laughs and says "I'm not kicking as high as I used to, but...I'm STILL kicking" She's THE most positive woman that's known me since birth and she has what I call Ms. Walker's Wisdom.
I spoke with her yesterday and we caught up on all the things that have been going on with me. As I get older, I become less and less prideful and that's a good thing because people will hold you hostage with your shame.
Which may have you wondering why on earth have I titled this commentary "Thieves in The Temple" It's something Ms. Walker and my grandmother told me my ENTIRE life, you need to be careful choosing women son, 'cause what looks good to ya', ain't good for ya' if ONLY i'd heeded her advice long ago, I could've saved myself from being with the wrong women. Now, this isn't going to be a woman-bashing commentary because I love and respect women too much, but, I feel it imperative to point out that all the talk about the games men play and the things we do are not exclusive to our gender. So, I'm going to share an extremely painful, embarassing, humiliating story about myself that will make me sound and seem foolish. But, if I am to be The GENEuine Article, then I must turn my lense inward.
So, I met a woman several years ago and she had three children, she seemed nice enough and the children weren't too bad. Being the son of a single mother, I promised I would be the man that I wished would've entered my life as a child. So, long story short, we lived together. It didn't bother me that her childrens father was absent not only physically, but financially as well. I was raised to be a man able to create things with nothing and I assumed that by doing good by people, they would appreciate your sacrifice and commitment. If you ask Ms. Walker, she'd say she didn't appreciate "good." To say that my family was less than thrilled about my decision would be an understatement and as mother's go, mine is the MOST vocal and peeps out the playa's. Problem is once I've committed to someone even the wrong person, I put my head down and try making it happen. When I met this person she was a waitress and I encouraged her to go back to school. She ended up with a quality education and stable employment. I watched her kids at night after working all day. In fact, I attended the parent/teacher conferences and all those things that a guardian and I thought a MAN SHOULD do. I was an ACTIVE participant in their lives...hands on! It was only AFTER I had flown her children to visit her family and THEY decided to introduce them to their biological father, that I began to realize that all my time, energy and efforts were in vain. Now, I had to make a choice and that choice was to STRONGLY encourage them to have a relationship with their father. I even set up call nights and their father agreed to them. Fridays at 7pm. Needless to say, he failed to keep up with the schedule. Ultimately, things unravelled from that point on, to this day, I have no relationship with her children. I believed this woman when she said that her ex had raped her and she gave birth to his twins. wich, I discovered later was untrue. This is the same woman who lied about several events since I've known her! (I'm curious at how we only see these things in hindsight?)
In the end, it didn't matter that I had attempted to help her raise her children, NEVER complained about the lack of support from the father or her refusal to seek any support. I will publish pictures of her idea of "housekeeping" as well as the damage done to BOTH my vehicles. In the end, it ended up with me being defrauded, lied to/on and placed in mortal danger. My character attacked and my integrity questioned. It is now a matter of public record that this woman lied under oath about several claims she made and the judge flat out called her a liar(texas is a community property state ya"ll).
This all leads me back to Ms. Walker, my 94 year old mentor who told me to keep praying and that it WAS all my fault, because I had allowed a thief inside my temple. It got me to thinking just how many times have I done this and the answer alarmed me, one too many times...Sometimes, there are some of us who attempt to downplay our strengths, we allow people into our lives who have NO business being there. Their motivations, aspirations and plans aren't always what they profess. It's at times that it's the people closest to you that plot to do you in...just ask caesar! So, I'm left dealing with the fall out that this person has caused in my life. I've heard from MANY people who wondered what was wrong with ME for taking up the responsibility for a woman with three kids. My answer has been, "it was the right thing to do" Now look, I know some women are going to go nuts at this commentary, but, this isn't painting ALL women with a broad stroke. This is appropriate for a certain type of PERSON. We are soooo ready to get on the man-bashing wagon, yet when it comes to women...not so much. Men get played too, we just don't talk about it and on some levels, women are oftentimes applauded for duping a man. It makes it HARDER for women looking for an equitable, productive life-partner. It can damage good people. NOw, in fairness, I'm not perfect, NEVER claimed to be, but...did I deserve what I got? Does ANYONE? I've been known to say that you learn if a person REALLY loved you at THE END of a love affair, not the beginning. If they treat you like dirt on their shoe, they ALWAYS thought you were dirt, they were just getting what they needed. Once you've served your purpose or catch on, then they will lie, cheat, steal and try to maim you or make you undesirable to anyone else. It's EASY to have, yet harder to hold.
I WILL NEVER STOP believing that EVERYONE deserves a second chance and that people are basically good. While, it's difficult, there are some GREAT women in this world! My open door policy needed to be reviewed and I will from this day forward qualify whom I allow to enter MY temple, because they just may be a thief and the most dangerous of all thieves is the person able to make you believe they're a victim. By the time you discover that they're not, your entire life my be stolen from you and you may be standing in the middle of a financial, legal, and moral tsunami. But, remember if we ask...

Love if u're there come save me
From all this cold despair
I can hang when u're around
But I'll surely die
If u're not there---lyrics by Prince