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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

One soy Caramel Macchiato please...

SO, I just arrived home from the first night of my commitment to dedicate one night a week to volunteering with a charity. I've been involved sporadically with charities over the years, however, this is the first time I'm making an attempt to set aside a designated day and time to serve others.
This particular evening was spent at the Dallas Life Foundation, where I was tasked with spraying hand sanitizer on the hands of people entering the dining room and then cleaning up the dining hall afterwards. The second half of the night was spent manning the nursery. Mercifully, all the kids were no younger than four.

I'm not quite sure how to describe this experience, as I am overcome with so many racing thoughts. In one evening, I saw so many needs, for both the people serving those in need and for those in need. It was overwhelming to say the least. I'm sure this is a common feeling among people who are new to being a volunteer.
I found several things enlightening, the first being the number of single men of color with children in this shelter; the number of two parent families and the number of children. Lord, the number of children...
These aren't people I expected to see, it just didn't add up. HOW did they get here? I was face to face with my fellow citizens, members of my species, entire families of all different races alternating shower times, worshipping together, socializing with one another. The manner in which I was spoken to, the look of relief that someone took time to serve them, quieted the cynic me and it didn't matter if they were here due to crime, drug or alcohol abuse. I saw ALOT of tired people. But, it isn't just in a shelter that I see tired people, I see them at Starbucks, Walmart, corporate executives and business owners. We are ALL tired and if you're like me, when someone takes the time to serve you, you give them the same look of relief. This is a NATIONAL pain and an embarrassing situation that we like to pretend doesn't exist or we blame the people in this mess. I'm convinced that there's blame to be shared all around.
When the veil of wealth, status and position are stripped away, all that's left is our humanity. There are levels of charity and some of us do it to make us feel good or to fill some college requirement or because it's the holidays. There are those that feel a tap on their shoulder to quietly give of themselves and they want to positively impact other people. I want that level of charity. I'm woring toward taht level of simple human interaction. Oh sure, some of the residents look at me angrily, but, it wasn't me they were angry with, each and every one of us has pride.
After cleaning up the playroom and having had a little guy spit his toys in my hand, I headed to the bathroom to wash my hands. I met a fifteen year old young man about to take a shower. I introduced myself and tried to find a way to relate. He told me his name and after looking at my name tag, he said I thought you lived here. That statement stopped me dead in my tracks because given this economy I could live there and secondly, because since he was a boy of color like me, that's how he saw me. His point of reference was I was a resident and not a volunteer. I'm stil wrestling with that statement. Also, how does that young man get up and go to school everyday and focuses on his studies, knowing that after school he returns to that facility? Don't get me wrong, it could be worse, it should be better...
As I continue in my efforts to be a catalyst in the lives of others, I will relay my experiences via this blog. It is not meant to be boastful about my volunteerism or to seek accolades, it is to hope fully inspire anyone that reads this to take action, commit some time and make a sincere attempt to connect with other people. I could comment on the disparity in regards to wealth in this country or the cleansing of the middle class or the selfishness, cynicism and intolerance of all of us, but it's not that simple.
After my evening out, I've been dealing with shame, my lack of gratitude and my avarice and I felt compelled to stop by Starbucks and order a large Soy Caramel Macchiato hoping I could shake off such ridiculous feelings. After several sips, it just didn't taste as sweet.